The Definitive List of Booty Call Text Rules March 5th, 2008

Fitness is a snowball effect. Once you get fit, you’re self confidence improves, thereby improving your personality, thereby making more people like you, thereby improving your social life, and so on. You’ll definitely start to notice improvements with the opposite sex. One of my favorite ways to communicate with women is the text message. It’s just a matter of convenience for me. I’m usually in a place where I am unable to talk (work, school, etc), and it still allows me to keep in touch.

I’m not from Detroit, but I have been following their mayor’s text message scandal with the attentiveness of a stalker! It’s not only hilarious, but it shows you the power of the text message booty call. It’s kind of like your little secret every time you check your phone and you see you have a new message. And then there’ the anticipation of what the other person said. . . They’re just great!

Unfortunately, it’s like the wild west out here, where anything goes. There haven’t been any rules in place for booty call texting, so it’s just been getting messy! Well, that’s all about to change. I present to you 15 essential rules to follow to ensure that booty call texting is played fair by all parties involved.
1. Any text to the opposite sex after 2am is a booty call text. If it wasn’t, it could wait until the following day.

2. If you get a late night text for company, you already know what’s on the other person’s mind. When you get there, sex is expected (unless otherwise discussed prior to arrival). Don’t be rude and deny your purpose.

3. Booty call texts are meant to expedite the process. Mindless chatter should be avoided.

4. Text back within 3 minutes. A timely response is necessary, because you can be replaced.

5. If you are texting someone you have had sex with before, raunch is acceptable.

6. If you haven’t had sex with them, be respectful. You never know if they’ll like it or not. If they respond, refer to rule #2.

7. If you are in a relationship, text your partner while they are at work. Nothing breaks up the monotony of a work day like a naughty text.

8. Be everything you’re not. The beauty of texting in general is that most people can write what they could never imagine themselves saying. Take this opportunity to become more than you.

9. Be descriptive. In fact, over do it. People like to imagine what you say you’re going to do, so give them something to work with…

10. If you booty call text multiple people, limit it to 2; a stretch and a sure thing. And if you booty call text multiple people, it’s called a booty graze.

11. NEVER use names. Just don’t get into that habit. Because you know it’s inevitable that you’re going to drunk text that girl you’d die for (your stretch, rule #10), and use the wrong name. . .

12. If you’re home, NEVER text then leave your phone! There’s nothing worst than getting a text, responding, then hearing nothing back.

13. Respect the other person’s time. Give them a heads up if you’re going to take a long time to show up. After all, it is late.

14. “Keep it pimpin, pimpin.” Do not take offense if you are shot down. That’s the nature of the booty call. You win some, and you lose some.

15. TAKE YOUR TIME! Don’t rush it! Re-read the text before you send it and make sure it’s as smooth as possible. Don’t forget; keep your eyes on the prize =)

If you do happen to be in a position of power, may I suggest something? It’s not a rule, because I thought it’d be pretty obvious. But don’t booty call text on your work phone!! How dumb of a mayor do you have to be to send those kinds of texts on a phone provided to you by the city!?

Tags: message, sex, booty call, Booty call text, rule, naughty

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• Posted by anwar
• Tagged sex, tips